"When you do things right, people won't be sure you done anything at all"
- quote from "Future rama"
obviously future rama is a cartoon,
and its quote shouldn't be taken too seriously.
but, if its quote inspire one,
why not?
Have I done things right?
that depends on how to define "right".
further more, from what point of view are we defining the "right"?
from a self-benefit, fulfilling self goal point of view?
or from a everyone-benefit, for the good of the people point of view?
lately, deep down in me, i feel like i done something that i regret.
but with each revision of my past and myself, i still can't figure out what.
except maybe the obvious one,
procrastinating on my resumes.
a sense of depression and stuffiness is now gathering and lurking in my heart.
the feeling remind me of my last summer's all time low.
i cannot afford be aimless at this stage and i really don't want to go back.
my mental state is affecting my physical state,
i can tell that my muscles are not as energectic as they were 2 weeks ago,
not even 2 months ago.
life is so short and i'm probably a quarter passed mine,
i need some action to drive myself out of my own abyss of misery.
as newton stated: "every action must have a counter reaction"
to push myself out, i must throw something in,
purhaps it's time to sacrifise something.
i think i know just the thing, or do i?
I need to stand up and yell:
"Why... Don't You... Do... Your Best?"
"WhyDon't You... DoYour Best?"~~~
- quote from trick3
自從zoe回到溫哥華後,
常常接到一通電話,
就出門跟隨著 angela 與她吃飯, 電影, scabble, 唱歌!?
I did have lots of fun,
but can never figure out why they won't hang with others,
aren't they friends too?
despite reasons are given, i don't get it. @@
I guess i'll get how their logic works after couple years,
or i'll never get it.
雖然說做的正事不多,
不過還是有點,
由正事開始寫吧
1. Attempt to create fusion UBCLE forum.
I never really get it, since we lose the ability to back up through date,
why are we still merging it?
Despite now i just see merging as a independent challenge
and try to acheive it whatever the reason may be.
Well, it turns out i manage to break the old UBCLE forum completely.
I wipe out the whole database, reset it with newest version of phpBB.
found out it cannot be done, wipe out the newly set up forum,
install with the old version of everything,
and "gracefully" restore everything back to ground zero.
Meaning?
I had accomplished nothing,
despite i discover a few traits of the phpBB system the hard way.
The old forum was break on wednesday, and completely restored by friday.
2. Despite i didn't send out any resume for the past week
(feel like i deserve being whiped for slacking,
and postponding my chance of free meal isn't exactly a great thing),
I did manage to take up paul's advice and take my resume to UBC career services,
the nice resume/cover letter checking lady manage to give me some insight on
how to present myself more through resume,
how to bring everything more to the point,
and most important of all, show some charactor,
which i always think my resume lacked of,
After phoebe's generous helps with continous revisions of my resume,
i always thought my resume is great in its content,
now i hope it can stands out and catch some attention.
"RESUME, now's your moment of shine~!xo"
(please pronouce !xo with a click)
3. finally returned csss office flop and get my 20 bucks of deposite back.
I was sadly disappointed that the flop won't work its one last time of magic to allow me to get my cs year book though,
however, it is not a great lose, as i can always go back after september.
4. watched tonz of world cup
I remember last time i spend this long watching same type of sports
are probably when michael jordon playing his last year in chicogo bulls.
(olympics are excluded since the TV play various types of sports at the same time)
5. Rufis Cube Miracle,
a cube has 12 edges, i manage to get 8 of them inline,
now for the final 4's
6. what the heck did i do on saturday ??
7. Sunday's vollyball picnic was.. fun, yet painful afterward.
8. Have a chance to sing till i lose my voice,
this certianly bring back some memory @@
9. Tried to apply tainwan passport with already taken canadian passport photo,
however, i don't think my head will fit in there after cropping,
due to: i have quite a big head.
Quoting poan: "Mark, don't forget, your head is actually bigger than mine"
Quoting myself: "yeah, but not relatively( to our bodies )"
10. played a little FFX,
since i allowed aaron to play with my ps2 while we waiting for database to process.
11. helped phoebe moved half her stuff.
i swear to god, her stuffs are multiplying by themselves,
like single cell organisms,
although at a significantly slower rate.
( hmm.. maybe should consider giving her consumption gifts,
or perishable gifts from now on)
12. moving boxes of leMook and phoebe's luggages actually seem easier than what i remembered.
maybe my exercising is paying off.
(note to self: remember to stretch before taking the role of mover)
13. why do i always lose with scrabble?
I lied, but i never win@@.
always the middle, or the last.
and i even lose to zoe,
oh~~ the shame~~
i need more <7-letter words vocabs
14. start sleeping early again,
but the qulity of sleep dropped significantly,
hope that's a short term symptom
15. never again should i be overly greedy and rent too many movies
16. so.. back to 6, what exactly did i do on saturday??
i can't beleive i still don't remember.. god i'm getting OLD
/*------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TODO:
- send out many many resume, at least win the competition <--- right!
- Research more about company and job positions <--- gotta stop this and focus on sending
- Sleep a little bit earlier, but still get decent sleep <--- hope that's possible
- Make up a plan for my life of what age i should have how much saving <-- still thinking, but not as much as before
- needs to slim down and gain much more 體力 <--- working on it, still
- check into BCIT's program about getting certificates<--- waiting for steven's comeback
- help LE IT with Bloganize and database problems<--- as mentioned on the entry
- learn flash <--- zero progress
- learn photoshop <--- zero progress, positively negative progress
- read more books (father's 'advice') <--- totally forgot about it
- think i'm inovlve with da vinci code intro!? <--- totally forgot about it
- think i'm involve with night sky feature!? <--- don't wanna see lillian or chord for a while,
but, i only state i'll help the main writer out on forum, that's it.. darn it
I'll scare publication away with my infamous cold stares
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*/
昨晚, 半夜左右, 電話響起
"Hello~"
"唯, 偉成阿, 你在家阿"
(差點沒跌倒, 我為什麼不會在家?
星期一的半夜12點ㄟ
我應該出去玩的嗎?@@
我什麼時候留下這種印象的?)
"哦, 對阿"
"你最近都幾點睡阿?"
(保守一點好了, 事實上是四五點)
"兩三點阿"
"你要早點睡, 養成早起的習慣, 不然開始上班以後打瞌睡怎麼看...etc. (開始勸導)"
反正重點就是,
我爸聽說麻省理工有線上課程,
要我去看看管理類的東西
(應該是看我有沒有興趣吧)
結果反而提醒我,
我那些執照, 認證都忘記開始去讀, 去考, 去拿了
結論, 大學畢業了,
我爸還是把我當小孩子吧@@
oh well, i AM the youngest.
2. 運動還是不足
3. Resume sending in progress, not a great one, but at least it's in progress
4. Every TV show has ended, guess all i left now is re-run of House.
5. LE's IT, I'm gonna forget about bloganize and focus on database system.
although i do need some training over script languages - -"
horrible Dr. Scheme coming back to mind
6. seen 6 movies so far, 2 more to go
weather man
fun with dick and jane
star war III (seen before)
sin city (seen before)
ocean's 12
be cool
Surprisingly, i find "be cool" very amusing.
gangsters and mobs among music industry in hollywood.
7. obtain flash software, but haven't play with it yet
8. vancouver's new yard trip garbage can sucks like hell.
grass cannot afford to get wet in it, if it's wet, it sticks to the garbage can.
leave the lid open, and all sorts of insects start nesting inside.
so i'm suppose to open the lid during sunny days and close it during rainy days?
how the hell am i gonna remember this?
I need sleep as well dude~
I sleep during day time.
/*------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TODO:
- send out many many resume, at least win the competition
- Research more about company and job positions
- Sleep a little bit earlier, a little bit more
- Make up a plan for my life of what age i should have how much saving <-- still thinking
- needs to slim down and gain much more 體力 <--- working on it
- check into BCIT's program about getting certificates
- help LE IT with Bloganize and database problems
- learn flash
- learn photoshop
- read more books (father's 'advice')
- think i'm inovlve with da vinci code intro!?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*/
純文字是容易讓人誤會的絕佳時機...
在msn上, 要求的是文字傳達的時間,
文字本身所需要的包裝卻常不知不覺中被忽略了
由建言變成指控,
最不想看到的情況卻是那麼容易發生
自我控制所發出的訊息相對的也有所缺陷,
違背了自己的原則,
使用了不是親身經歷的景象,
怎麼錯, 都還是在我吧
對於造成的傷害,
事後的道歉往往是於事無補,
不過錯就是錯,
沒有必要掩飾
在此獻上我真誠的歉意
This is in one of my early entries.
September 27th 2004
Today, I just finished its series finalie.
Thoughts?
lots~
first of all, i beleive the script writer for this show is a hopeless romantic.
and not romantic as in candle sticks and ppl getting intimate,
but drag people into a squashy feeling of "aww... that's nice~"
graduation, people departing, choices to make..
"aww... that's nice~" is a good feeling,
as i mentioned a long time ago.
as i guy, i probably shouldn't be too into these type of things,
but seeing a show trying to incoorporate all the relationship and love into one hour every week,
it is still nice.
if i feel all these, i guess i'm a romantic as well?
--------------------------------------Divider-------------------------------------------
well, rather than making a seperate entry,
i'll just wrote whatever thoughts i have down here.
i'm a big supporter of free-will, and voluntary for responsibility,
why?
cause i don't like to be pushed,
i like to do things because i want to do it,
not because i have to.
But, there's a thin line between the two though,
if i have a life-long goal, what i must do now,
are likely to become what i want to do to acheive my future goal.
my way has its flaws, it create delays,
if i can't convince people to see the future, and voluntary do stuff,
i can't make them. (we usually call this an inspiration?)
i know i may lack the nature ability to inspire people,
and it's largely because, I, myself isn't inspired by me.
is this the reason i was passive, unsocialized?
if people aren't "willing" to talk to me on their own,
why talk to them?
but there's no company that will voluntarily approach me and hire me now,
is there?
what of friendships?
caring through words still seem excessive to me,
despite i had force myself into the habbit of telling friends,
good luck this, take care that.
deep down, i still worry i would annoying the heck out of them,
just as i would if i'm at the receiving end
although, a friend once said "you're still a long way from over-caring"
my dear friends,
how much is enough, how much is just right, how much is too much,
i'll let you be the judges, and trust that through the friendships,
you will be loyal, honest, and frank* about it.
* i checked the word through dictionary.com,
always thought it was spelled flank,
guess frank is the right way of spelling,
didn't know the name frank is so sincere
So it's been three months since i made up my mind, eh?
This has been a weird week.
1. very little sport
2. very little everything
3. sleep a lot though
4. start sending out more resumes.
but, i become more and more careful, 到吹毛求疵的地步
為了些cover letter不自覺的就會去看一下公司的簡介.
看完的結果不是
a) i don't like the job, 申請的時候不自覺的馬虎
就是
b) i totally like the job, 申請的時候深怕出錯, 不斷的檢查
結果, 就像沒有時限的考試一樣, 拖了好久才寄出去
need to upgrade my speed and find a middle field
5. I pray for pheobe for all the difficulties she has to face.
Also for her mom.
6. Apprantice season 5 is done.
ending is unbeleivablely bad.
it is not the choice that is bad, but the way of presentation.
what the heck...
7. need to start quitting tv and get a life..
8. bloganize is.... weird..
i'll just go learn php and do database things on my own extra time ba
9. spend too much money during lounge night... 該反省
10. good luck to nancy and steven's flight tm
11. 畢業了
12. 終於看完 鬥魚
13. also finished Trick2 and Trick OVA
阿部寬 跟 仲間由紀惠 在裡面 蠢的又好笑又可愛
/*------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TODO:
- send out many many resume, at least win the competition
- Research more about company and job positions
- Sleep a little bit earlier, a little bit more
- Make up a plan for my life of what age i should have how much saving <-- still thinking
- needs to slim down and gain much more 體力 <--- working on it
- check into BCIT's program about getting certificates
- help LE IT with Bloganize and database problems
- learn flash
- learn photoshop
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*/
不知不覺中,
又回到了渾身沒力, 全身懶洋洋,
完全沒幹勁, 虛度光陰的日子
我, 恨透了這種感覺.
人是不應該如此活著的.
I'm sick of holding myself back,
I should be doing so much more..
why am I not stepping forward?
why?
people should never place themselves in a safe position.
if one is a couch potatoe, one shouldn't own a sofa nor a TV.
I should secure my mind and get on with my life.