To Be Announced

美麗叉瑪斯

一年一度的叉瑪斯又這麼的過去了.

雖然每年都不盡相同,
不過今年我這個沒有信仰的人居然收到了禮物.

收到禮物事實上也不是什麼大了的事.
只是收了之後,
總是會有"是不是應該要回送?"的感覺.

如果是生日的話,
就可以很簡單的在那個人生日的時候在回送.

可是..這個叉瑪斯嘛~~
我既不相信聖誕老公公,
也不信耶穌,
這一天對我來說實在是沒什麼太特別的.

在一個很平凡的日子收到禮物,
難免有點怪異..
因為, 回送的時辰好像已經過了,
不送, 又怪不好意思的.

仔細想一想,
我應該不會送吧.
1. 我懶
2. 省錢
3. 時間不對
4. 就算要送也要抓個莫名其妙的時間
( an eye for an eye, a shocking experience for another )

滿沒意義的post.
算了, 就當是critique前的中文練習吧.

祝大家美麗叉瑪斯

What i do, i do with no regret

"What i do, i do with no regret"

This was a quote i had seen lately, and truly felt for it.

To live like that is a dream.
A dream that shows so much confidence in all decisions that are made, and in those that are to be made.
(As long as it does not leads to fear of making any decision.)

During this highly stressful(i wonder if i am included) final period,
how one allocates each hour is an important decision that one has to make.

Every hour that is spent on travelling, eating, sleeping, watching tv...etc is stealing away time that is supposed to be put to study.

Even writing this blog entry is also a sacrifise of time.

How can one be sure that all those little allocation of time, for entertainments, for neglecting study will not be regreted?

Will one think "i should have spent an extra hour on that, instead of watching stupid TV that will be shown again anyways." after getting his/her report card?

On this occation, we all make excuses for ourselves, such as, "I really needed that to get me out of this stressing environment."

But we forget about the unbelievably high potential of what a person can acheive.

Can a person study for 20 hours straight without real break other than going to washroom?

Yes, it can be done. It's just a matter of the strength of the will.

Now, at this critical period, I need that will.

I need to calm my wondering-around mind down and really start to learn the things i am supposed to know.

I can't say I really regret how I spent my time now, but I hope I held the same opinion long after this final period is over.

For me to have no regret, I must find my will, my motivation, my determination.

And I will find it, I am sure of it.

At this moment, this tiny short term goal should be in first priority.

P.S.: Worry not, I am not lost, I am just hypnotizing myself.
P.S.2: This is written 8.5 hours piror to my cs444 exam.

三個月

三個月的變化很大吧?

2004 September when the term started	2004 December when the final started

三個月來的變化,
光是長相就可以差這麼多
(雖然有final的煎熬在),
心境又如何呢?

仔細想想,
認識了好多人.
又混了一個學期.

好像變了很多,
又好想什麼都沒變.
人之間的情誼,
有變熟, 也有變淡.

跟以前比起來,
我似乎比較好相處了.
這是很矛盾的一件事情,
我的態度, 只有變差, 沒有變好,
但是朋友卻有增加,
或許, 交朋友時, 重要的是心態, 而不是態度.

不知道為什麼,
總覺得自己是一個人在走.
雖然週邊的人一定會說:"我們在陪你走阿",
即使那是事實,
還是無法讓我擺脫掉那種感覺.

或許是看著自己的臭臉,
而無法理解誰不會想要避而遠之.

想太多,
中央處理器過熱,
心理疲勞~~~